To Believe, To Be Free
by Sugarfoxx
Summary: You may not believe my story. I wouldn't believe it either if it wasn't my life…. my story…but I'm going to tell you anyway because I can't hide it any longer and at the end you can have whatever opinion you may have. My name is Spencer Carlin and this was my life.
1. Chapter 1

**Intro: This is my first fanfic. I have been working on this story/book for a while, and decided to transform it into a SON fanfic to get some honest feedback. The first chapter is just a snippet of what is to come. Rated M for future chapters. Please enjoy and comment if you feel inclined. Peace, Love and Pixie Sticks**

**Disclaimer: The story idea and some characters are originals and belong to me. I do not own any of the South Of Nowhere characters.**

* * *

You may not believe my story. Hell, I wouldn't believe it either if it wasn't my life…. my story…but I'm going to tell you anyway because I can't hide it any longer and at the end you can have whatever opinion you may have. My name is Spencer Carlin and this was my life.

Chapter 1

I woke in my room, entirely ruined. How can it already be time to wake up? Morning had come, its brightness stealing shadows from the corners, but still I fought it. I pulled my warm blanket over my head and went back to sleep. Sleep was the most logical option compared to what the day had in store for me. My dreams swam with a fiery sunset and then her face…the face of an angel. I've never met her, and I don't know if she is even real, but I find myself abandoning reality more and more each day just to go to this place. To the place where I saw more than my eyes could see and knew more than minds could know. The dream played as it always does. She walks towards me slowly with the fire of the sun burning the way and before she reaches me, I am blinded by the sun, only this time was different. I was blinded by sudden darkness. My skin was burning in the dark and a dreaming light of her eyes flashed as I heard a velvet voice against my cheek say, "It's almost time".

I jumped up in my bed startled by the banging on my bedroom door. "Spencer, you're going to be late for school. Madison's waiting down stairs with your brother."

I lay back down on my soft pillow thinking. She's never spoken to me, been that near to me. Butterflies swam in my stomach and my head felt dizzy. What was going on? I've had visions before but this was above and beyond.

My visions started when I was five. Even at such a young age I had learned to bear them alone. No one would understand. I learned that if I could spill everything out, if I could empty myself of sensation and thought, I could be filled again with sight and the visions would come. Through my mind's eye, I would step inside someone else's skin. I'd walk on their legs, see with their eyes, hear whispers of all things to come but this dream… vision… whatever it was, was not someone else's eyes nor ears nor legs. No this was me.

"Spencer!"

I took a long, deep breath, stretched and then rushed to my closet. I put on the closest pair of old jeans and band t-shirt I could find, put my hair up, grabbed my green messenger bag and ran downstairs completely unprepared for the day ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

**I want to give a big thanks to Lexi10290 for being the first to read and review my story. You rock my socks! Hope you enjoy Chapter 2. XOXO**

******Disclaimer: The story idea and some characters are originals and belong to me. I do not own any of the South Of Nowhere characters.**

**Chapter 2**

I sat quietly in the passenger seat of Madison's mustang as we drove to school. Madison was my best friend yet she was very self-centered so it wasn't hard to keep the secret of my visions from her. As Madison went on and on about how wonderful she thought my brother was and how he is going to lead the football team to state this year, all I could think of was her face…her voice. The harder I tried to remember though, the more distorted her face and voice became. The need to see her overwhelmed me. My breath rushing like the wind, blood pounding in my ears and the incessant banter coming from Madison's mouth were all distractions, terrible distractions. I begged through bitten lips, "Please, please stop!"

I made fists of my hands, nails digging into my palms. I closed my eyes as tightly as I possibly could, allowing no light to enter. If only pain brought clarity. Before I could explode, a hand slapped my arm jolting me back to reality.

"What's your deal this morning? You're acting even weirder than usual and that's saying something."

"I'm sorry. I didn't sleep well." That was a lie of course. I slept better than I've ever slept. Every night she's in my dreams, is the greatest sleep. All until the spoils of morning arrive and I am forced back into the reality of this world.

"Well, you're super crabby this morning. Anyway…."

Madison continued talking about my brother, completely forgetting what just happened, as I stared out of the window watching the trees pass by as a blur of green.

We finally pulled into the school parking lot, parking where all the cheerleaders and football players parked. Our school was made up of only two groups; the cliques or as I referred to them in my mind the clichés, which consisted of cheerleaders and football players, and then everyone else. Though I was neither a cheerleader nor football player, I was considered part of the cliques because my brother was the quarterback and my best friend was the soon to be head cheerleader next year.

I would prefer not to be associated with this group because I have never fit in with them, but I have to admit that it does make school easier.

Madison was out and about mingling two seconds after the car was put into park. She barely gave it time to stop. I sat in the car for a few minutes before taking a long deep breath and getting out.

"Spence, get your ass over here. You will not believe what Aiden just told me." Madison is forever the drama queen. I walked towards Aiden's truck at slower than normal pace just to irritate her. I'm not too curious about the newest, juicy gossip Madison has to tell me. Living in such a small town, any news is big news to Madison.

"What's this big news?"

"Oh …My…God. Aiden totally said that he over heard his father talking to Mr. Jenkins and there's supposed to be a new student coming tomorrow and she's going to be in our class. She better not be hotter than me. I'm a shoe in to be junior maid for homecoming this year and I don't need competition. You're the only competition right now and you don't care." It felt like Madison would never stop talking. Finally I was saved by the first bell.

We all walked into the smaller school building which held only three classrooms for math and science classes. The universe must hate me for giving me algebra first thing in the morning.

"I'll see you at lunch."

"Ok."

Madison and Aiden walked down the hall to their classroom and I walked to mine. I was in honors classes so it gave me a little peace and quiet, until lunch, from Madison's ramblings. I walked to the desk in the back corner near the window. The teachers always seemed to leave me alone as long as I had all A's. Even with honors classes, school felt very elementary to me. I didn't have to study for anything. As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever opened one school book. The answers just always seem to be in my head when test time came. I've never questioned it. Why question a gift like that?

As my teacher started going over linear equations, I slipped lower into my desk chair and stared out of the window. It always amazes me how ugly and beautiful the world can be. All the blues, greens, yellows and browns shaped into trees, sky, grass and sun as an artist may lay on a canvas.

As I stare out the window, everything around me slowly became darker and darker until I could see nothing. When I opened my eyes, I found myself locked in a hopeless attic room. I had nothing. I had no one. Only a single small window produced the light in the room. I felt weighted by my clothing. I walked over to the window and only on my toes could I see the world outside. The light was the first pink and peach shades of morning in the distance. Suddenly something heavy turned in me. I flattened my hands on the glass. It was her.

"Hey, Hey!" I cried, then seized by a terrible rage, I screamed. "How could you abandon me to this?"

I beat at the window. I imagined my fists shattering the panes, shards making ribbons of my flesh. I tasted the blood. I felt the cold that would come of letting the blood course from me. This was no premonition, just dread hope. I was too much of a coward to break it. I could only slap the glass uselessly. Ashamed, I pressed my brow against the wall and wept.

Suddenly the attic door swung open and before I could turn to see the intruder, a hand shook me back to reality.

Startled, I lost my balance entirely. The desk tipped over and my books fell to the floor.

"Spencer, are you ok? You were screaming. You must have fallen asleep."

"I'm sorry Mr. Johnson." Though I never paid attention in any class, Mr. Johnson was still my favorite teacher. He helped me up and placed my books back on top of the desk.

"It looks like your elbow is bleeding. You better go to the nurse and get it checked out." Then in a whisper, "And if you need to talk, you know I'm here for you."

"Thanks Mr. Johnson." He was always ready and willing to help any student, not because he thought he had all the answers but because he was that kind, selfless teacher that everyone wishes they had in school.

I put my books in my messenger bag and walked outside. My elbow wasn't bleeding that bad so I decided to forgo the nurse and instead opted to go sit under my favorite tree at school. I lay my head back on my bag and closed my eyes.

The more she appeared in my visions, the more difficult it became to interpret them. I tried desperately to slip back into the vision I had in class but with no success. Who was coming through the door? A question I had no answer to. A question to add to the many questions I was collecting lately since she came into my life. I had to find out.

I slowly closed my eyes, letting the warmth of the sun relax me. Within seconds, a rush of wind transported me back into the bleak attic room. I found myself lying on the floor completely out of breath. I quickly looked in the direction of the open, wooden door. I was filled with a combination of fear, excitement and anticipation. Seconds felt like hours, as I watched with hopeful eyes. Hope that it would be her to climb the ladder into this dull place and bring with her, her light to save me. Minutes became days and no one came.

My heart sank at the realization. I was alone in this place. I hugged my knees to my chest as tears began to form. The tears bit through my sleeves, causing hot points of pain on my flesh. I was so focused on the pain that I didn't hear the footsteps coming towards me. I was startled when I heard the familiar velvet voice, "It's almost time."

My heart leapt with joy, but before I could raise my head I was jolted awake by a book landing on my stomach.

Madison held her hand out to help me up. "Hey lady face, where were you all day? We missed you at lunch."

I rubbed my tired, disappointed eyes, "What time is it?"

As I reached for Madison's hand, she retracted it to look at her watch. "It's 3:00. We have to get going if you're not gonna have time to run home and get changed before the game." Madison turned and started walking towards her car.

I lifted myself off the ground and ran to catch up. Had I really been asleep all day? "Hey, wait up. What's wrong with what I have on?"

Madison was already pulling out by the time I caught up with her. I ran around to the passenger side door and jumped in just in time for Madison to slam on the gas.

"Are you crazy?! You're going to kill me."

"Shut up. All your limbs were in the vehicle. Anyway, we have to hurry."

I settled into the leather seat while putting on my seat belt. "Why are we in such a hurry? It's two hours before you have to be at the game."

"We must make you presentable. I have direct confirmation that Dylan Jameson will be at the game and Aiden said that he wasn't totally appalled when he mentioned your name for the homecoming dance. That's like totally major. Oh my god if I wasn't so totally in love with Aiden, I'd be all over Dylan. You are like the luckiest…."

"Hold up…. What?! Madison pleeaaasssseee tell me you're joking. I'm not interested in Dylan Jameson." Honestly, I wasn't interested in anyone other than her, the literal girl of my dreams. If only she were here. My mind started thinking about her and knew at that moment I had to get out of going to the game. My time must be spent at home… with her. I was so focused on coming up with a plan that I didn't realize we were at my house until Madison turned off the engine.

"Come on!" She said as she pushed me towards the passenger door.

How was I going to get out of this?


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes: **

**ItsMeCharlee: I loved your review and reaction to the story. I get so excited when I see I have a review. I hope you keep them coming.**

**To all the readers who are wondering, Ashley will be coming into the story soon.**

**I hope everyone enjoys this chapter and it gets a few more reviews. Be safe, Be free, Be you, Not me. XOXO**

**Disclaimer: The story idea and some characters are originals and belong to me. I do not own any of the South Of Nowhere characters.**

Chapter 3

As I sat in the warm bath that Madison insisted I take, I closed my eyes trying to come up with a good excuse not to have to go to the game tonight. I relaxed more and more into the warm water. When I finally opened my eyes, I felt tears falling from my eyes as my head lay rest in my hands. I was in the attic again. As I slowly began to lift my head, I felt warm arms wrap around me, and the sweetest whisper in my ear, "_Shhhh, It's almost time."_

All my senses were heightened. I felt happier than I ever imagined. I could die right now and have no regrets.

I was too afraid to let go, until the pain came; the sharpest, most excruciating pain in my chest. I could hold on no longer, and fell back onto the hard, wood floor. I closed my eyes tightly, and gripped my chest.

Before I could see her again, my eyes flew open and I found myself on the cold bathroom floor, coughing up what felt like a gallon of water.

"What the fuck Spence?! Are you trying to drown yourself?"

I continue coughing, as I roll onto my side. When I roll onto my side, I see my mother in the door way with a look on her face I haven't seen since my brother was ten and he broke his arm skateboarding; the look of a worried mother who has no clue how to help her child.

I was lucky Madison was here, and that she has been a lifeguard at the local pool every summer since she was fourteen, because my mother wouldn't have been able to save me.

What exactly happened? Did she try to drown me? These are the thoughts that run through my mind, as I slowly regain my composure on the cold, wet bathroom floor.

Madison hands me a towel and slowly helps me to my feet. Her face also adorns the same worried look as my mother's. "Are you ok? Maybe you should stay home and get some rest tonight?"

Wow. Madison must be worried, because she never would have suggested I stay home on a game night normally. Guess I don't have to come up with an excuse now.

My mother finally regains her voice, "Yes, you should stay home honey. We could, um, talk or something."

"I think I just want to try to lie down for awhile, if that's ok."

Madison and my mother walk me to my room like I'm the most fragile porcelain doll they have ever touched.

I put on a pair of sleep pants, a t-shirt, and climb into bed.

Madison and my mother stand at the foot of my bed exchanging looks with me and then with each other, as if trying to decide what to do next.

"Hey guys, I'm fine. I must have just fallen asleep in the bath tub. Madison you better get to the game. You don't want to be late, and Mom I think I smell your lasagna, so you better go check it. I'm just going to take a little nap."

They look at each other, but neither move. They turn their heads and look at me concerned.

"GO!" I say with a laugh.

Madison is the first to move, "Ok chica. If you need anything, CALL ME. I'll have my phone with me at the game."

I smile at my friend, "Thanks Mads."

She turns to leave, but before walking through the door she turns and says with a laugh, "And don't think this gets you out of talking to Dylan."

We both laugh and then she is gone.

My mother takes more convincing to leave.

"Spencer, are you sure everything is ok? I know you have had a lot of pressure on you, but killing your self is never the answer. We can get you some help, or"

I cut my Mom off before she can continue, "Mom, I promise. I did not try to kill myself. If I was trying to kill myself, I think I could come up with a more creative way." I laugh but she doesn't find it funny. Not the right time for a joke of this magnitude.

I'm serious now, "Mom, I honestly don't know what happened. I was laying in the bath, I closed my eyes for what felt like a few seconds, and the next thing I know I'm on the bathroom floor with Madison doing compressions on my chest."

She starts rubbing her hand through my hair, "Ok sweetheart. I'm going to go check on the lasagna. Please let me know if you need anything. It should only be another 20 minutes before it is ready, so you try to take a quick nap and I will wake you when dinner is ready."

"Ok, Mom. I love you."

She kisses my forehead, "I love you too."

She walks out of my room and starts to close the door, but then decides on leaving it open.

I roll over onto my left side, facing away from the door. The warmth of my soft sheets and blanket feel amazing, and I decide to try to slip back into my dream to try to final find some answers.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes: **

**ItsMeCharlee: Another BIG thanks to you for your review. The dead Ashley idea is a good idea for another story and definitely scary. LOL Keep the reviews coming, and I'll keep the chapters coming. Hope you have a great weekend. XOXO**

**This chapter and the one I will post tomorrow are short filler chapters to get us to the good stuff, which will start next week. AKA Here comes Ashley Davies.**

**Hope all my readers have a great weekend and enjoy this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: The story idea and some characters are originals and belong to me. I do not own any of the South Of Nowhere characters.**

* * *

It seemed like only seconds before I was being woken for dinner by my mother. Glen is at the game, so it is just my mother and me sitting at the eerily quiet table.

_Why didn't she come to me in my dreams this time?_ I think to myself. I mean she did almost kill me in the bath tub….. I think. I don't know what to think these days.

"Spencer!"

I'm startled by the harsh tone my mother used when she said my name. "Yeah Mom?"

She softens her voice as she replies, "I asked you how the lasagna is."

"Excellent as always." I say as I push the noodles around my plate.

"I think I'm going to call Dr. Davies tomorrow and get you an appointment."

I jerked my head up quick from my plate with my mouth open to protest, but when I saw my mother's face; eye brows furrowed, head tilted with tears threatening to spill over her eyelids. My will power is useless against my mother when she tilts her head. Guess that's where I get it from.

I close my mouth, give her a slight smile and a head nod to acknowledge her.

"She helped us all so much when your father died, and she just moved her practice here to L.A. I know you've been going through something these past few months and if you can't talk to me, maybe you will be able to talk to her. I'm sure she could fit you in on a Friday."

Maybe it would be good to have someone to talk to. "Ok, Mom."

After a few more minutes of awkward silence, I say "May I be excused? I'm pretty exhausted from today, and just want to get to sleep early." If I'm going to have someone to talk to tomorrow, I want to have something to talk about. I have to get some answers about what happened today.

"Sure honey."

I rinse my dishes and put them in the dish washer. When I walk back into the dining room to kiss my Mom goodnight, she envelops me in a never ending hug. "I love you Spencer. Never forget that."

"I love you too Mom" is all I say without bursting into tears.

I nearly trip as I run upstairs into the safety of my bedroom. I lock my door, climb into my soft bed and pull the fluffy blanket over my head. We are a very close family, but the tone in my mother's voice haunts me as I slowly fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Notes: **

**ItsMeCharlee: Always nice to see your comments. Who is Dr. Davies indeed? :) Thanks again for sticking with me and reviewing. I'm glad your still loving the story.**

**FFReviews:To my newest reviewer, a big thanks for taking the time to read and review my story. I love knowing what my readers are thinking, and if they are able to guess what is going to happen. :)**

**As I stated in the last chapter, this chapter is a short filler chapter. I still hope you all enjoy it.**

**More excitement to come by Tuesday. **

**P.S. I added a little surprise at the end of this chapter to make up for it being so short.**

**Disclaimer: The story idea and some characters are originals and belong to me. I do not own any of the South Of Nowhere characters.**

* * *

I woke up from yet another dreamless sleep, feeling more drained than usual. I turned to look at my alarm clock and was shocked to find it was 9:00 a.m. I jumped out of bed and ran quickly downstairs.

"Mom!"

My mother slowly walks out of the kitchen fully dressed with a cup of coffee and the phone against her ear. "Yes. Yes. Uh huh. Ok. That would be great. We will be there at 10:00. Thank you again for getting her in on such a short notice. Goodbye."

"Hi, sweetheart."

"Why didn't you wake me? I'm extremely late for school."

My mother looks at me with so much concern and love as she speaks, "I thought you should stay home this morning. At least until after your appointment, which by the way is at 10:00, so you need to hurry and get dressed."

"Oh, wow. I didn't think you would be able to get me an appointment today." I'm half excited, half dreading the conversation I'm going to have. At least I hope I can muster the courage to have with Dr. Davies.

"Yes, well she is an amazing person. Now, why don't you run upstairs and take a quick bat-"

The color drains from my mother's face as she stumbles over her words. I can see the events of yesterday replaying in her mind, but she quickly recovers.

"Um why don't we both go upstairs. You can take a shower, while I brush my teeth. Can't have coffee breath when I leave the house, now can I?" She says with an awkward laugh.

I smile and reply a simple, "Ok"

Within twenty minutes, I'm showered, dressed and ready to go. My mother grabs the keys off of the entrance table and we head out of the house, completely unprepared for what this day has in store.

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**Sneek Preview of Chapter 6:**

Just before I regain consciousness, I feel her warm, soft hands on my face. She then leans down with her cheek resting on mine as she faintly whispers. "Spencer it's time."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Notes: **

**No reviews on last chapter :/**

**Oh well, hope everyone likes this chapter.**

**Peace, Love, and Lots of Hugs XOXO**

**Disclaimer: The story idea and some characters are originals and belong to me. I do not own any of the South Of Nowhere characters.**

* * *

Chapter 6

Once we arrive at Dr. Davies' office, my palms were sweating and my heart racing. How do I tell a some-what stranger that: 1. I have visions of what I think are future events. 2. Lately, I've been having them about myself. 3. I would rather live in my dream world where she is. 4. I think she tried to kill me, but I don't care. 5. I'm in love with this dream girl and oh by the way I've never seen her face. And 6. If I'm in love with this dream girl, then I guess I'm… gay? Yeah, I'm going to be committed for sure.

My mother nudges her elbow into my arm to pull me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, sorry. Hi, Dr. Davies."

"Hello, Spencer. It's a pleasure to see you again, and please call me Christine. Let's step into my office."

As I start walking into her office, my mother reaches for my hand. She gives it a slight squeeze while saying, "I'll be back in thirty minutes to pick you up ok?"

"Sure Mom." I give her a small smile and walk into Dr. Davies' office.

"So Spencer, it's been a while since we've seen each other. How have you been?" she makes small talk as she gathers her notepad and pen.

I opt to sit in a big, brown leather chair, rather than lying on the tan couch that is the focal point of the entire room.

"I've been good, I guess. I still really miss my Dad, but things have slowly gotten easier, like you said."

Dr. Davies moves to seat herself directly across from me in a beautiful, upholstered black and tan armchair as she begins to speak again, "That's really great to hear Spencer. I know that was a really tough time for you and your family. How's school? Anything new going on?"

This is what I really like about Dr. Davies, I mean Christine. She's not your typical therapist that just makes you talk while they take notes. She actually holds a conversation while she psychoanalyzes me.

"Not really. School's ok. It's better than it was when we first moved here 2 years ago. We're supposed to be getting a new student today."

"Oh, yes that must be my daughter, Ashley. She wasn't thrilled about moving here her Junior year in high school, but I couldn't just let her stay in New York by herself, with her father going on tour. Have you met my daughter before?"

"I don't think so."

The rest of the session went on with us catching up. She didn't bring up anything her and my mother surely discussed on the phone. As I was feeling more and more comfortable talking to her, she says with a sad look "It's time."

I'm rattled by her choice of words and immediately become defensive, "Excuse me?"

Her tone shifts and she says with a weak smile, "Spencer, it's time to go home. The session is over. How's next Friday for your next appointment? Maybe then you will feel more comfortable talking about what's really going on."

"Oh, sure. Sounds great." She must've sensed I really wasn't ready to spill all my deep, dark secrets this session.

As I leave her office, I find my mother waiting in the waiting area with my favorite soda, an orange vanilla Sprite and some French fries. Food always makes me happy.

I grab the cup and take a long, satisfying drink and start walking towards the door, before I turn back to Christine, "See you next Friday."

"Have a good weekend Spencer."

My mother didn't say anything until we were in the car.

"So how did everything go?"

"It was good. We just spent the entire time catching up and talking about her family."

The only thing my mother can say is, "Interesting."

She quickly changes the subject, "So home or to school?"

"Well, home is tempting, but Madison has left me like 10 messages on my cell phone, so I better go to school so she knows I'm alright."

"You are alright, right Spencer?"

"I'll be fine Mom. I promise. Just normal teenager stuff." I hate lying to my mother, but after my father died, she can't take much more, no matter how much she tries to hide it.

She turns the radio up and we both sing along and eat my fries as we head towards school. In 10 minutes we are at King High. I grab my backpack, kiss my Mom and watch as she drives away to go to work.

I slowly walk towards the main entrance. As I reach for the door handle, the door hits me in the face with such force that I stumble backwards, trip over the steps and fall to the ground. My head slams back hard and the last thing I see are black dots as I pass out.

Just before I regain consciousness, I feel her warm, soft hands on my face. She then leans down with her cheek resting on mine as she faintly whispers. "Spencer it's time."

I have to see her this time, before I wake up. I use all the strength I have to force my eyes open, but I'm blinded by the sun and all I can see is her outline.

I can't take this anymore. My heart pounds in my ears and my eyes start to tear from the sun. I do the only thing I can and want to do. I rise up as quickly as I can and capture her lips on mine. Her lips are like velvet and I never want the kiss to end, but just as quickly as I captured her lips, I am gently pushed away.

As I'm pushed away, I realize my eyes have adjusted to the light and kneeling in front of me is the most beautiful brunette with a shocked look on her face.

"Wow. What a way to greet a new student and I thought I wasn't going to like this place." She's say with a laugh.

Oh my god. I'm not dreaming. "I'm so sorry." And embarrassed I think. "I thought I was dreaming." I say under my breath, as I try to stand, but realize I must have hit my head really hard, because I start to feel dizzy.

"Hey. Slow down beautiful. You hit the back of your head pretty hard, and I hit the front of your face pretty hard with that door, which I'm really sorry for", she says with a nervous laugh. "I'm Ashley by the way." She then flashes the most beautiful smile and touches my arm, which sends chills down my entire body.

Her touch, her voice….I realize this is the girl from my dreams. I smile back at her, "I'm Spencer".

As if she can read my mind she says with a slight smirk, "So you think I'm the girl of your dreams huh?"

My cheeks turn red and I give a slight laugh. "I was hoping you didn't hear that."

We share another laugh, and she slowly helps me up.

"I should get you to the nurse. Do you think you can walk or do you need me to carry you?"

_Carry me. _"I think I can walk."

She lightly places her hand on my lower back and guides me to the nurse's office.

I don't want her hand to leave, but once we reach the nurse she removes her hand to help me to the only seat in the room.

"Spencer what happened?"

"Hey, Nurse Jamie. I just fell and hit my head on the concrete."

"She hit it pretty hard," says Ashley with a concerned look on her face.

"You must be the new student. Hi. I'm Nurse Jamie."

I quickly say, "Her names Ashley."

Ashley says with a laugh, "Doesn't seem to have affected her memory."

I can't help but smile at her, as I blush.

The nurse turns to me, "Oh ok Spencer", then turns back to Ashley, "It's nice to meet you Ashley. I can take care of her from here. You better get back to class."

At this very moment, I now hate Nurse Jamie.

"Sure thing nurse lady. I'm out."

Ashley walks towards the door, but turns back to me and with a wink and a smile says, "I'll see ya around Spencer."

And with that she was gone.

The nurse gave me 2 pain pills, an ice pack and helped me stay awake until my mother came to pick me up. My head was swimming and I felt dizzy, but not from hitting my head, but from my encounter with Ashley, the girl from my dreams.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Notes: **

**I apologize to all of my readers for the delay in posting and the length of this chapter. The following chapter is a filler chapter leading up to the next week at school, where a lot of things are going to happen to answer some of Spencer's questions and bring new ones.**

**Big thanks to my reviewers and followers. You rock!**

**FFReviews: I'm glad you enjoyed the interaction between Spencer and Ashley during their first meeting... or was it :)**

**ItsMeCharlee: Ashley is always badass, but a little less whorish in this story lol**

**Hope everyone enjoys and I will posting again by Wednesday.**

* * *

Chapter 7

Once we finally made it home, my mother shifted into doctor mode and examined me. She decided I had a slight concussion, so she called Madison to come over and watch me while she went back to work. So here I am sitting on the couch at midnight with Madison watching a Buffy marathon and thinking about Ashley.

"Angel is so hot. Don't you think Spence?"

I'm brought back to reality with Madison's words.

"Oh yes. Ashl-Angel is so hot."

Madison looks at me suspiciously, but shakes it off before she speaks, "So what do you think of the new girl? Seems kinda bitchy to me."

"Well, she's not!" I'm a little too quick to defend Ashley, which causes Madison to turn towards me on the couch and give me her full attention. "I mean, um, she seems nice. She did help me to the nurse's office today."

"Yeah after she put you in the nurse's office." Madison replies with her evil laugh.

"Maddy, it was an accident and stop trying to make her out to be some kind of evil bitch, just because she's hot." I cover my mouth on the last word hoping my usually inattentive friend didn't comprehend what I just said. No such luck.

"OMG Spence. You like her. Like…. Like her like her."

My cheeks begin to turn red from embarrassment and anger. "I do not. She's just…" What is she anyway? I don't know anything about her.

"She's what Spence?" Madison says with a giggle.

I put my most serious face on when I look at her, "Interesting. Now drop it."

"Whatever you say Spencer. You totally have a big lezzy crush on her."

I slap Madison on the arm "Shut up. I'm trying to watch TV."

"Ow! Alright, alright."

We spend the remainder of the night watching Buffy episodes, not mentioning our earlier conversation. We fall asleep on the couch somewhere around 4 a.m.

I have yet another dreamless sleep and am woken by the smell of pancakes around 11:30. As I slowly stretch my arms, I see Madison sitting in the maroon leather chair, next to the couch, staring at me like she is trying to read my thoughts.

When she sees me notice her, her mood changes and she flashes her big smile. "Hey sleepy head. Your mom made pancakes. Get your ass up so we can eat."

I'm so confused by Madison's actions; I just stand and walk straight in the kitchen without a single word. I'm still a little pissed about last night anyway.

"Hey sweetheart. How's your head? Come let me take a look at it."

I walk over to my mother behind the stove and let her feel around through my hair. "Does that hurt?"

"Ah, a little."

"I think you'll be fine. It's just a little bump. You feel like eating some blueberry pancakes?"

Before I can speak, Madison walks into the kitchen in her tight shorts and tank top "Hell yes, I'm ready for some pancakes."

"Madison!"

"Sorry Mrs. Carlin. You know how much I love your pancakes."

My mother just smiles "Spencer will you go tell your brother breakfast is ready?"

"GLEN! BREAKFAST"

"Spencer, I could've yelled."

I give my mom a sheepish smile "Sorry."

As Madison, my mother, and I fix big plates of pancakes and bacon from the stove, Glen barrels down the stairs and into the kitchen, "Damn! Madison looking hot."

"Glen! Language."

"Sorry, Mom. Looking good Madison."

"What can I say? It's natural."

I think I'm going to be sick before I even eat my pancakes.

The remainder of the weekend was very uneventful and excruciatingly slow when I all wanted was to go to school, so I could see Ashley.

It's now 1:00 a.m. Sunday and I'm unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep. The excitement of seeing Ashley is keeping me awake. What am I going to say to her? How am I going to approach her tomorrow? What if she doesn't want to talk to me? Oh no, what if she told someone I kissed her.

I'm never going to get to sleep tonight.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Notes: **

**Sorry friends for the delay in posting. School started back, and I've had a bit of writer's block.**

**Hope everyone enjoys this chapter. **

* * *

Chapter 8

I watched as the sun slowly crept through my window, painfully slow. Its rays crawling along my floor, up my bed, along my blanket, finally lighting the entire room with its orange and yellow light. The excitement of seeing Ashley today was so overwhelming; I wasn't able to sleep at all last night.

Every scenario flashed through my mind. How was I going to start the conversation? What would we talk about? How can I get her to kiss me? These were the things that played over and over in my mind. I finally settled on just walking up to her and saying "Hi". I know it's brilliant. Why didn't I think of it sooner, so I could have slept a few hours?

I decide to get out of bed before my alarm rings. This is not a normal day and I must make myself as presentable as I possibly can. Shower time.

As I let the warm water run over my face, I close my eyes and try to feel her lips on mine again. The delicious sweet taste of her lip gloss, the feel of her soft, full lips on mine. I'm officially addicted to her lips, and the longer I'm away from them, the more I feel like an addict going through withdrawals.

"Spencer?"

As the door opens, I'm pulled from my thoughts. "Yeah. It's me Mom."

I turn the shower off, grab my towel, and begin drying myself.

"You're up early. I usually have to drag you out of bed on a school day."

I laugh because it's true. "I just thought I would get an early start. You know early bird gets the worm and all that." _What the hell am I talking about?_

My mother looks at me odd "Oookaayy. Well you seem…. Happy. I guess that visit to Dr. Davies helped some."

"Uh. Yeah that's it." It's a Davies alright but not Dr. Davies. I giggle to myself as I walk out of the bathroom towards my bedroom while brushing my hair.

Now the hard part. What to wear?

I normally would just go with jeans and a t-shirt, because I've never had anyone I actually wanted to impress. I finally opt for a blue jean skirt and blue tank top. It's sexy but still looks like I'm not trying very hard, even though I am. I decide to wear my hair down and a little lip gloss.

As I'm giving myself one last look in the mirror, my door swings open and Madison comes storming in. She abruptly pauses with her mouth open.

"Damn Spence. I don't think I've ever seen you in a skirt." She says with a slight astonished laugh.

"Shut up. Do I look stupid?"

"No. You look…..Hot. Maybe I should be worried about you for homecoming court."

"No you really don't."

"So why the dress up Barbie routine? You finally decide to try and impress Dylan?"

"Hell no. How many times do I have to tell you I'm not into Dylan Jameson?"

"Then who's it for?" Madison sits on the end of my bed thinking. I see the entire class going through her head, and as if a light bulb goes off in her head, I realize I've been discovered. "OMG you're doing this for the new chick!"

I start to speak but stumble over my words and then fake a shocked reaction, "No I'm not. If you have to know, my therapist said I should try something new today and see how it makes me feel."

"Oh." Is all Madison can say. I knew the mention of my therapist would silence her. She doesn't like thinking about her friend being crazy. I know it was a mean trick to pull out of the air, but I can't have her blabbing all over school I'm in love with Ashley Davies.

"So have you decided if you're going to join us in the skit for the talent show tomorrow night?"

"Madison you know I'm not into that kind of thing." She looks disappointed. "But you know I'll be their supporting you." We smile at each. "Let's get to school."

As we walk down stairs, butterflies start swimming in my stomach and I can't help but have a goofy smile on my face all the way to school.

Once we arrive at school, Madison jumps out of the car, as usual, and runs over to Aiden and the clicks. I follow Madison at a much slowly pace as I scan the parking lot for the beauty I've been thinking about all weekend._ I wonder what she drives._

Before I reach the crowd in front of me, I'm stopped in my tracks by warm breath on my ear. "Boo!"

The chills that run down my body freeze me in place for what seems like eternity. When I'm finally able to turn, I see the person of my dreams standing with a huge grin on her face and two drinks in her hands.

I try to speak, but only a slight croak comes out of my mouth. _Ok Spencer. You've rehearsed this all weekend. Open your mouth and speak. _I clear my throat and try to say with as much confidence as I can muster. "Hi"

"Hi, yourself. So I felt really bad all weekend about concussing you and all, so here, it's a peace offering drink to say I'm sorry."

If I didn't know any better, I would think she is just as nervous as I am by the way she is rambling. It is the cutest site ever. I smile, take the drink, and take a small sip from the straw. "Wow. An orange, vanilla Sprite. This is my favorite drink. How did you know?"

Ashley's smile turns into a worried look. Her eyes quickly avert to the ground as she plays with her fingers. She finally looked up and said questioningly "Ummm….Lucky guess?"

Before I can say anything, the bell rings. "Spencer! You coming?"

I turn to see Madison waiting on me. "Be right there!"

"So what class do" When I turn back to Ashley, she is gone. I look frantically through the crowd, but am unable to find her. I disappointedly run over to Madison and walk in the building with our first classes.

"See ya at lunch Spence."

"Sure Mads. Later"

We go our separate ways. As I walk into Algebra class, I'm excited to see Ashley sitting in the desk next to mine with her head on her desk.

I quietly walk to my desk and sit down trying to think of something witty to say. "That was some disappearing act you pulled in the parking lot." _Oh my god Spencer. You're so lame._

She slowly lifts her head and I see a nose crinkling smile plastered across her face. "Well I have been told I'm pretty magical."

I'm speechless. I can feel my face blushing, my heart race, and at this moment I have never wanted anything more than her all over me. Her eyes bore into mine and I feel more exposed than if I were naked in front of her.

She is the first to break the stare when Mr. Johnson enters the room, but before she turns to face the front of the classroom, she gives me a sly grin and winks.

I shake my head to clear all of the naughty thoughts running through my head.

"Good morning class. It looks like we have our newest student in our class. Ms. Davies, would you mind standing up please and introducing yourself to the class."

As Ashley stands, all I can do is stare at her perfectly tanned legs peeking out of her blue and white plaid skirt.

"Sure thing Mr. J. Hey, what's up? I'm Ashley Davies. Yes my dad is Raife Davies. Yes he really did base-jump off of the Eiffel tower naked and no I'm not dating anyone."

The entire class bursts into laughter including Mr. Johnson. "Well thank you for that entertaining introduction Ashley."

"No sweat."

Once Ashley in seated again, I pull my gaze back to the front and hope she didn't notice me staring.

"So Ashley, I hear you are quite the musician yourself. Will you be performing in our talent show tomorrow night?"

"Yes I will be singing and playing a song I wrote on the piano."

_She can sing too. I'm in so much trouble with this girl._

"Excellent. I can't wait to hear you."

As Mr. Johnson turns to the board to start his lesson, I sink lower into my chair, sneaking peeks at Ashley from the corner of my eye, trying to imagine what her voice sounds like when she sings.

As I venture a longer than usual glance at her before the bell rings, I see her reach over and slide a note on my desk. Before I can read the note, the bell rings, and she is gone without a good bye. My gaze follows her out of the room, then I quickly open the note.

**Call Me  
555-555-1219  
P.S.**

Butterflies take over my stomach and I can't help but smile. I turn the note over.

**You look beautiful today.**

I gather my books and my bag and leave the classroom with so many thoughts running through my head. The ball is in my court.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Notes: **

**As always, my commenters make me laugh. One of the best parts of writing this story. Big hugs and thanks.**

**FFReviews: Sorry Ashley's number in the previous chapter didn't work for you. I thought for sure it was hers. ;)**

**ItsMeCharlee: I'm glad you find Spencer funny. Let's hope Ashley is able to save her from herself. LOL**

**Fumbling Towards Ecstasy: Thanks for commenting. I'm glad you are enjoying the story. The talent show chapter will be next. If I can write it the way I want to, it will be quite emotional and one of my favorites.**

**Thanks to all my readers. Hope you enjoy this chapter. L8R**

* * *

Chapter 9

The remainder of school was boring and uneventful. I didn't have another class with Ashley, and she was no where to be found at lunch time. I opted to walk home after school, instead of waiting on Glen or Madison to get out of practice.

Now I'm sitting at the kitchen table, staring at Ashley's phone number.

"Hey, sweetheart. How was school?"

I glance up at my mother for a second before staring at the number again. "It was good Mom. How was your day?"

"It was actually slow at the hospital today. So what are you staring at so intently?" She walks over to look at the paper.

"Oh, nothing. I was zoning out."

"What's on the paper?"

"Oh um the new girl at school gave me her number in Algebra today. I don't think she knows many people in town."

"That's a shame. What's her name?"

"Ashley." I look up from the phone number and try to suppress a smile. "Ashley Davies, and yes, she's Dr. Davies daughter."

"Oh wow. Does she know you're a patient?"

"No." The thought of Ashley knowing I was a patient of her mother's made me feel sick to my stomach. This perfect girl could never know how broken I am. Thank God for doctor patient confidentiality.

"Why don't you invite her for dinner tonight? I'm making tacos and your brother is staying at Aiden's tonight."

_My mother the genius._ "Yeah I guess I could do that, but no talking about Dr. Davies. Okay?"

"No problem Spencer." She smiles kindly at me and hands me my cell phone off of the kitchen counter, before starting dinner.

I walk into the living room, trying to gather the courage to call. I slowly dial the number and hit dial. After I let the phone ring twice, I hang up quickly. My heart is racing and my head feels dizzy. I can't do this.

I slowly walk back into the kitchen and set my phone on the charger near the toaster.

"So will Ashley be joining us for dinner?"

"She didn't answer."

"Aw. I'm sorry honey. Maybe next time."

"Yeah. It's no big deal. I'm gonna go wash my hands for dinner."

I walk into the bathroom, and sit on the bathtub with my head in my hands. _Why do I have to be such a coward? It's just inviting a friend over for dinner._

I shake my head, stand, and wash my hands. As I turn the water off, I hear my mother talking to someone. When I walk in the kitchen, I see her laughing with my cell phone to her ear, as she stirs the ground beef.

"Yes, that is too funny. Well it would be our pleasure to have you for dinner. Ok, we will see you in 5 minutes. Drive safe Ashley."

As my mother ends the phone call, my eyes widen and I feel a lump forming in my throat.

My mother is still laughing. "That was Ashley. She is quite funny. She said she didn't hear her phone, but she would love to join us for dinner. She will be here in 5 minutes."

I can feel all the color drain from my face.

"Are you feeling ok Spencer?" My mother looks at me concerned.

I try hard to swallow and finally clear my throat. "Great." I force a nervous smile.

"Well, why don't you grab the cheese and lettuce from the refrigerator for me."

I take a deep breath and feel my body relax a little, before walking over to the fridge.

As I finish helping my mother with dinner, I hear the door bell ring. Just the sound of the door bell makes me freeze in place with the plates in hand.

"Spencer. Are you going to go let Ashley in?"

"Uh. Um. Why don't you do it? I'll finish setting the table."

Confusion spreads over her face, but she just shakes her head and walks into the entry way. I hear the door open and then Ashley's melodic voice.

"Hi Mrs. C. It was really nice of you to let me crash your dinner."

I hear my mother laugh and then respond. "Come in, come in. Friends of Spencer's are always welcome in this house."

I hear a lighter laugh as the conversion steadily gets louder. "Thanks"

"Spencer is setting the table in the dining room; straight ahead to the right. Why don't you have a seat and I will grab dinner."

"Sure thing."

I start to panic because I know she is on her way in here. I pretend I'm unaware she is here as I finish setting the table. _Play it cool Spencer._

I hear foot steps behind me as they enter the dining room. "You know if you want to invite someone to dinner you should at least let the phone ring more than twice."

I jerk my head up from the table. _Shit. Play dumb._

I turn to see her leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed and a mind numbing grin on her face.

_Play dumb. Play dumb. Play dumb._

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"So that's how your gonna play it Carlin?"

"Yep." We both smile. "What do you want to drink?"

"Vodka." She laughs when she sees my smile drop and turn to shock. "I'm joking. A coke would be great."

"MOMMMMMMM. Bring 2 cokes."

"Spencer. I'm right here. How many times do I have to ask you not to yell in the house?

I duck my head and give her a head tilt with my best apology face. "Sorry."

"You have gotten way too good at that. Here's your cokes."

We all laugh and sit down at the table. My mother sits at the head of the table, and Ashley and I sit across from each other.

We begin fixing our tacos in silence. I notice Ashley chooses the soft tortillas and I like the crunchy ones.

"Ashley, would you like some rice?"

"Sure. Thanks Mrs. C."

Ashley takes the rice and dips a large spoon full onto her plate and on her taco. Once she is finished with the rice, she looks up to see my mother and me staring at her with smiles on our faces.

Ashley suddenly turns from a confident, cocky teenager to a shy little girl, "Uh, sorry. I love rice, and don't get homemade food very often."

"You don't have to be sorry. Please eat up. Spencer's brother Glen decided not to come home tonight, so we have way too much anyway. Enjoy."

Ashley raises her head and throws a nose crinkling smile towards my mother. She then grabs another spoonful of rice and puts it on her already full plate. "Well in that case, let me see if I can help take care of some more of this rice."

We all share a laugh. I'm the first to break up the laughter, "Hey, save some for me."

"Ummmmm, nope."

I fake a hurt look on my face and stick my bottom lip out. "Mom?"

My mother laughs and says, "She is the guest Spencer."

My jaw drops open and I see Ashley stick her tongue out at me.

The laughter between my mother and Ashley continues, so I cross my arms and pretend I'm pouting. Ashley sees this and the kindest smile forms on her face. She then stands without a word, walks around the table, and places a big spoonful of rice on my plate. Our eyes meet and I forget what we were all talking about.

She finally returns to her seat and begins talking to mother. "So Mrs. C, What kind of job do you have?"

"I'm a doctor and work in the emergency room."

"Wow, that must be exciting."

"It is definitely interesting."

As I start to regain my composure, Ashley says, "My Mom's a doctor too. Well sort of. She's a therapist."

I suddenly tense up, and immediately want to change the subject. As if my mother can read my mind, she quickly changes the subject. "I bet that can be interesting too. So Ashley are you going to perform in the school talent show tomorrow night?"

"Yes. I'm going to sing and play a song I wrote. I'm excited, but also nervous because I don't really know anyone at the school, other than Spencer."

"Well, I'm sure you will be great, and I know Spencer will be happy to cheer you on."

As I watch my mother and Ashley talk, it feels as if we have always known each other. I feel like I have found the missing piece of my heart.

"Spencer?"

"Oh what? Sorry."

"I was just saying you should show Ashley around town this weekend. Do you have any other plans?"

"NO! I mean no I don't have any other plans." _Way to play it cool Spencer._

"That'd be great."

"Why don't you girls go watch some tv and I'll clean up the dishes."

"You sure you don't need help Mrs. C?"

"She doesn't."

My mother's eyebrows raise when she looks at me, and I give her an innocent smile. She shakes her head and laughs. "No, but thank you Ashley."

As Ashley stands, she grabs her stomach. "I am so full."

"And I bet it doesn't have anything to do with the 10 pounds of rice you ate either." I say with a giggle.

Ashley starts walking slowly around the table as she says. "I may be full, but not too full to beat you." She then takes off running towards me and she chases me around the house. This ends when Ashley finally catches up to me, and tackles me on the living room couch.

She starts tickling me, and I finally give up when I'm laughing so hard my ribs start to hurt. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'M SORRY!"

"How much rice did I eat?"

"Very little, if any."

She stops tickling me and things get serious very quickly as her eyes melt into mine. I can feel her leaning down towards me painfully slow. I want to reach up and capture her head in my hands; pull her down and have our lips crash into each other, but I refrain. She needs to be the one to kiss me. I've already embarrassed myself once by kissing her.

Suddenly, she jumps up off of me. I know my face shows confusion, but I realize my mother is speaking.

"Would you like to stay the night Ashley?"

_Say yes. Say yes._

Ashley looks down at me, then back up at my mother, contemplating the question. "I should probably go home, but thanks for the offer." _Damn. _"I need to practice for tomorrow night, but maybe this weekend, if that's ok with Spencer."

"I may be able to fit you into my busy schedule." I say with a smirk on my face.

"You do that." She says with a confident tone in her voice.

My mother must have slipped out of the living room quietly, because she is no where in sight.

I walk Ashley to the front door in silence. She opens the door, but before she walks out, she turns and places a kiss on my cheek. "Tell your Mom I said thanks again for dinner."

And with that, she was gone.


End file.
